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u/pogiguy2020 Jan 28 '23
die quickly
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u/pitts68 Jan 28 '23
Totally agree. We're all going to die anyway. May as well have some control over it
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u/phaedrusinexile Jan 28 '23
Plan A survive by any means necessary, plan B become zombie then kill all the living, plan C die
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u/tehmlem Jan 28 '23
Get bit, hide it, cause a zombie outbreak in my camp
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u/Raztan Jan 28 '23 edited Jan 28 '23
Im dual natured, Im all about that Harman until I get bit, then it's team zed.. im tying up everyone when they goto sleep so I got something to eat later.
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u/tv341739 Jan 28 '23
But why, why would you do that.
Granted that anyone who is dumb enough to be in any kind of public survivors camp is probably going to die in a matter of weeks anyway.
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u/tehmlem Jan 28 '23
I think people will like being zombies. It's like being dead but with exercise and fresh air.
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Jan 28 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/speccadirty Jan 28 '23
You and every other redneck. Then what? You all live in harmony, like now?!?
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u/josherfiddy Jan 28 '23
Aren't most generators fuel operated though? Surely fuel supplies would become limited at some point
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u/neuromorph Jan 28 '23
All the others going to home depot will die. So you get fuel after a day or so from the parking lot.
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u/neuromorph Jan 28 '23
Everyone's going to Home depot.
You go to ikea. Not as much metal there. But assuming power goes out. You have food and fuel. And no one thinks ikea in an emergency.
Also premade beds and closets.
Basically fortify the ikea. In most cities they are near a home depot.
So if you have a crew. Go to home depot get s generator or two, and then haul as to ikea. Destroy the main stairway and live on the second floor with the cafe.
IKEA is but to funnel people in one path so you close those pinch point you can have a fortress in a matter of an hour.
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u/AldoMilliken Jan 28 '23
Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil—Sorry. Grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.
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u/Nuttonbutton Jan 28 '23
Camping store. Get a canoe and provisions. Make it to an island I live somewhat close to. Live in that island's hotel like a fucking queen until I get murdered because I'm not Final Girl material.
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u/slidhedid Jan 28 '23
My brother is convinced we'll all run out of food eventually &start eating each other anyway
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u/StanYelnats3 Jan 28 '23
Hide at my place. It's remote enough to not attract too much attention. I've got lots of guns and ammo. A small stockpile of food. But that's going to run out in 8-12 weeks, so I would need to start gardening/ fishing/ hunting right away to keep food on the table. Avoid people or venturing into more populated areas.
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u/gennnk Jan 28 '23
Adopt all the cats
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u/Quackels_The_Duck Jan 28 '23
in the words of my mother; "it will be a matter of time before you and the cats look at each other and are licking lips"
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u/poizinmac Jan 28 '23
To be completely honest, I'd just kick it myself in a comfortable way. I wouldn't survive if it was a real apocalypse. I don't wanna go out to bullets or starvation or disease or by becoming a monster.
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u/Captainvonsnap Jan 28 '23
Like in most games and movies were people survive I need to find an American with limited ammo and a past that haunts them.
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u/mcwats Jan 28 '23
Go to Costco. Everything you need there and nobody gets in without a membership ;-)
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u/DemandTop Jan 28 '23
I can imagine a group of dejected zombies shuffling away from the entrance, disappointed they couldn’t get into Costco cause they don’t have memberships.
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u/Lower-Campaign-7025 Jan 28 '23
Go to the Winchester and have a pint while you wait for this to blow over.
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u/Remarkable_Past_8228 Jan 28 '23
I’m kinda a - cough - IM A BIG FAN OF THE LAST OF US! (cracks knuckles)…
WELL…
anyways I would prob get eaten while explaining what country would be the best to migrate to.
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u/AllOrcsMustDie Jan 28 '23
Go to a medieval museum, get a full set of plated armor.
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u/Nihilism-1___Me-0 Jan 28 '23
See, the armor idea is great in theory, but there's a few massive problems.
It's quite loud, so stealth is out the window.
Enjoy not being able to maneuver well at all.
It's heavy, so you will get tired faster.
Probably worst case scenario with this is you get tired and inevitably dogpiled by a horde of zombies, to the point where you can't move. So you'll basically be resigned to slowly starve to death whilst being pinned down by a mass of decaying, smelly, bodies that are all scratching at your armor.
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u/raytaylor Jan 28 '23
I live in New Zealand.
We would just lock down the borders and wait it out. Did it already with covid.
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u/krisalyssa Jan 28 '23
I have bad eyesight and zero outdoor survival skills. I’ll distract the zombies by being eaten while the rest of you get away.
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u/Green_Acanthisitta7 Jan 28 '23
Live in a submarine
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u/ComplexPackage117 Jan 28 '23
I love cold climate. I'd have no trouble at all going way up north. I'd relocate somewhere deep in wilderness. And stick it out there. Hell, that's the plan even if there isn't a zombie apocalypse.
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u/only7inches Jan 28 '23
Take over a Bunnings and use it as a base of operations, bringing in as many empty shipping containers as I can find.
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u/smellslikebeans00 Jan 28 '23
Have someone shoot me. I am too tired to run and I like snacks and blood makes me faint so… I wouldn’t be helpful at all. Just put me down like Old Yeller
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u/melissalmay2003 Jan 28 '23
I am too nosey to survive the zombies. Just chilling in my house, hear strange noises outside. Walk out to see what is going on and boom, eaten by zombies.
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u/Ashrewishjewish Jan 28 '23
Work my way to the zoo sounds fun, but realistically I live on a farm that’s pretty well fenced so raid the local Walmart and police department for weapons,ammo, and supplies and the Home Depot is like 4 mins away so use that for my security/ fencing reinforcements. Protect the animals and finally work on the garden
Side note: there’s a small lake for fish and water.. guess I’ll try and catch the beaver too
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u/2leewhohot Jan 28 '23
After a trip to the local archery shop, find a nice, flat, open area, and lay down the barbed wire.
Grow only veggies that grow low to the ground. No corn! I want line of sight.
Kill anything that gets tangled up in the wire, burn the corpses.
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u/biggreenfartcloud Jan 28 '23
Depends on the zombie type. If we are talking the walking dead, I’d honestly go a bit further north so hopefully the cold weather slows em down. If they are fast, I am going to the coast and stealing a boat.
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u/Organnss Jan 28 '23
Honestly I’d just off my self or if I had the courage to survive I’d be so scared id rely on other less scared people to keep me alive.
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u/nyctophilia_0007 Jan 28 '23
I will fight against zombies, it gives me goosebumps... or maybe contact Elon to launch a spaceship to Mars or maybe ask Russia to nuclear attack...
I just want to see death and come back...
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u/ageofempireempire Jan 28 '23
Hold up in a pharmacy dispensing medicines and getting flushed to the gills on narcotics
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u/Hmasteryz Jan 28 '23
Hmm from my movie experience it is safer to wait a bit before you move, couple of weeks if possible, then set destination for mountain or village because city is dangerous as hell.
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u/boredboyonreddit Jan 28 '23
Depends on what kind of infected im going to have to deal with. If im having to fight against the typical slow moving husks, then i think id be able to find a place where they cant reach me. However, if im dealing with a Clicker like infected from Last of Us, im screwed.
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u/itfeelssoalive Jan 28 '23
I'd want to live in a shopping centre. Take in any stray/abandoned animals I came across and sleep in a netted trampoline filled with pillows and blankets. I'd just read all day long. Life would be sweet.
Realistically though, I'd probably get bit and die on day one.
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u/Wasdqwertyuiopasdfgh Jan 28 '23
I would most likely die very quickly. Something that people don't really consider is that like 99% of humanity is infected by the virus initially and never actually get to experience the actual apocalypse part. Unless of course the virus only spreads by being bitten by zombies in which case I doubt that it would spread enough to cause an apocalypse. Most people in a zombie apocalypse wouldn't breathe their last breath in a desperate struggle against a horde of zombies, they would likely be one of the zombies in the horde.
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u/brownjenkins69 Jan 28 '23
Assuming only headshots kill? Ruger 10/22 with drums. You can carry thousands and thousands of rounds with very little weight. No recoil and little noise. It surprises me that no zombie movie ever makes use of the .22LR. But I guess that’s Hollywood, the closest you get to gun knowledge is Alec Baldwin.
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u/Hewholooksskyward Jan 28 '23
Nothing. Cause zombies don't actually exist.
Seriously people, what is wrong with you? At least in the 80s we had a real apocalypse to fear. Ask me about my survival plans for WWIII.
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u/Nihilism-1___Me-0 Jan 28 '23
Cause zombies don't actually exist
My dude, pretty much everyone knows this, with the exception of a few nutters. It's a hypothetical for funsies, sort of like saying, "what would you do if dragons started spewing from the Earth's core?"
Do I believe in dragons because I asked the question? Of course not, but hearing the responses is a fun thought exercise.
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u/Hewholooksskyward Jan 28 '23 edited Jan 28 '23
At one time I would have agreed with you. Now? Too many people will claim otherwise, and when pressed for evidence will unironically point to the Miami Cannibal attack in 2012 as proof.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami_cannibal_attack
In other words, what was once just a silly joke has entered the public consciousness, and now far too many idiots think it's serious.
Edit: Or Cordyceps. Never mind the fact it only affects insects.
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u/Nihilism-1___Me-0 Jan 28 '23
You've got a fair point, in that regard. I was actually visiting down in Florida (when that happened) before basic training, and my recruiter called me with a real concern about that. lol
Being a Floridian, I knew better, as the only real danger in this state is if the meth gators gain sentience. (obv joking)
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u/Hewholooksskyward Jan 28 '23
I'm not worried about the meth gators. I'm worried about Florida Man gaining sentience. :)
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u/Nihilism-1___Me-0 Jan 28 '23
You're not wrong. That would be somehow worse than zombies and WW3 combined.
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u/sweetjonnyc Jan 28 '23
Super Walmart. Is that what they're still called? With the grocery store on one side and the rest of the crap on the other? Well I'd do my best to muscle my way there and live out for a couple of years I guess. DVDs, crappy furniture, canned goods. Sounds air tight.
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u/thesamman06 Jan 28 '23
Go to my local Sportsman's warehouse and get a ton of 223/556, canned food and kerosene, wait for either the zombie virus to get cured or for all of the zombies to starve (could also get some target practice done too).
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u/Tough_Stretch Jan 28 '23
I'd probably eat a bullet. I wouldn't want to live in a post-apocalyptic world full of zombies and assholes like the ones you see in shows like The Walking Dead or games like The Last of Us and Days Gone.
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u/scorpiogre Jan 28 '23
Chain mail
"Lucille"
Shipping container
I'm thinking I'm good for a solid 10....no, no, no gonna be optimistic, a solid 25 minutes!
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u/turbod1ngus Jan 28 '23
- Go to my parent's house in the suburbs.
- Get my hands on as much non-perishable food as possible as soon as the news hits.
- Fill up every container in the house with fresh water while it's still available, including bathtubs and sinks.
- Barricade/destroy stairs leading to second floor. Use rope ladder out window if I need to leave.
- Camp out on second floor for as long as I can, ideally 2 weeks+
- Once 2 weeks have passed, most undead will hopefully be severely decayed.
- Try to make the trek up to my parent's cottage in Michigan, where there are less people and a lake to flee to if necessary.
- Board up windows, sliding glass doors, etc.
- Hopefully live out the rest of my days in peace.
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u/that_other_goat Jan 28 '23 edited Jan 28 '23
Lock my doors and wait it out. I have more than enough supplies as I frigging hate shopping lol.
Wait for the insects to eat all the zombies or wait for the weather to destroy them depending on the season.
The zombies wouldn't last more than a few weeks before they froze damaging their ability to move leaving them harmless piles to be devoured by later insects or the bugs ate them to bones.
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u/No-Masterpiece-2079 Jan 28 '23
Get some guns maybe make my way to my family in Texas cause lots of guns probably stop by Home Depot for the real supplies before shit gets too bad also just so you know I will push you in front of a zombie for my dog
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u/team-tree-syndicate Jan 28 '23
Join the military, sure you might be put in a variety of dangerous situations, but at least you'll have weaponry and food and shelter. When shit goes down the boys n girls high up will want to keep the military around for protection and order and stuff. Might not be the best plan but I'd probably die immediately on my own anyways lol.
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u/broken_steel525 Jan 28 '23
Start farming, and wait until everyone else starts running out of food. He who controls the food controls everything that eats it. Would probably end up dying of dysentery later down the line, but would otherwise be a good life.
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u/CitizenObliviousAnon Jan 28 '23
Take every bowl, cup, etc. even the bathtub, fill it up with water. dunno when the water'll turn off. grab all perishable foods and water upstairs, along with every other necessity. board up the windows downstairs, then take out the stairs and replace them with a ladder. hang a rope from an upstairs window that leads outside.
I've read the zombie survival guide, read a plethora of zombie hypotheticals, and am an avid Project Zomboid player, I got this shit on lockdown, and I still will probably die like a little bitch. But it'd be a fun ol' time I'm sure.
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u/Necrensha Jan 28 '23
1- Craft a bunch of spears
2- Break marble stairs
3- Use sound to attract zombies and stab them from a safe distance
4- Repeat until clearing the entire city
EZ, don't even need to use guns.
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u/duncthefunk78 Jan 28 '23
Go to a police dog training place, get that dopey padded armour they wear when training the dogs to attack people. Once that is sorted pick a dog to take with me. Get some ammo and guns. Get food to last a few weeks then head for the hills away from population centres.
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u/ipoopcubes Jan 28 '23
Barricade front window, give my wife a rifle and ammo, get my shotgun and strap my ammo belt across my chest, get pigs bane (big knife I use for hunting) and attach it too my belt, wonder why I haven't made an Indian war club like I always wanted too.
Check on neighbours, but only the ones I like, offer them a rifle and ammo and tell them they can stay with us.
Drive to petrol station, fill up my tank with diesel tell myself I'm a genius for getting long range tanks installed. Fill all my Jerry cans with diesel and petrol for generator. Take all the cigarettes and tobacco from petrol station (I don't smoke but I figure they'll be good for bartering) if attendant argues shoot them.
Drive back home, reinforce the windows of my car, fit steel mesh across bullbar to protect lights from all the zombies I'ma be running over. Tell myself I'm a genius for getting that generator switch installed in the meter box, but get frustrated when we use the generator as it attracts the zombies but gives me good practise on killing zombies.
Hope my good neighbours make it through cause they are great at growing vegies and we need that kinda skill.
Hunker down until such a time I think it's remotely safe to start a 1500km journey to a remote part of Australia and hope to hell Zombies can't survive the arid conditions. If we make it too my super secret pre planned location and zombies are there head east and get to the coast, steal a yacht and hope sailing isn't as hard as they say it is otherwise I'm all out of ideas.
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u/Craigothy-YeOldeLord Jan 28 '23
Always go out in pairs on hunting trips / supply runs, you never know when you need to kneecap the other person to slow down the zombies chasing you.
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u/Penna_23 Jan 28 '23
kill myself in front of a hoard of zombies so my corpse will feed them enough energy to run after other survivors
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u/crazycat690 Jan 28 '23
Well, at first I'd try to keep a low profile, survive at least a week or so without exiting my apartment. After that I'd try to go out and locate my friends who are much more likely to survive due to them being better at... Well survivalist stuff for different reasons. I have a car that will hopefully be available to me at that point, the main thing I have that I reckon could be used as a weapon is sort of a branch cutter that's kind of a machete. I'd also use an airsoft gun as a deterrent for people as it looks pretty real and guns are pretty rare in my country so it's also unlikely that I'd encounter anyone that would be willing to call me on that bluff.
Generally I'd say my chances of survival isn't that high, but I think I'd survive at least a week.
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u/Tonninpepeli Jan 28 '23
Nothing, I don't care to survive, I don't want to live in that type of world or if I would survive through it I wouldnt want to re build everything while living with the trauma that left behind.
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u/KeyKitty Jan 28 '23 edited Jan 28 '23
First step! Die quickly!
Failing that- Second step! Die more slowly!
Also failing that- Third step! Survive by some weird series of extremely unlikely to near impossible events. Success?
Step four- profit
Edit- I thought of a possible back up strategy! Bunker down in the literal bunker under the GreenBriar and die of old age or starve cause they decided to go cheap on replacing the food stockpile.
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u/Wolfgard556 Jan 28 '23
Easy.
•Stock Food, Water, and Medicine.
•Get a long reach weapon, like a Shovel.
•Get a Pistol, preferably chambered in 9mm Parabellum rounds, such as the Glock 17.
•Cover the limbs with thick clothing, or if you are lucky, Strap Metal pieces to prevent bites.
•Avoid Cities.
•Get a mode of transportation, such as a Bike, less noise will attract less Zombies.
•Avoid carrying any type of meat, because the Zombies will probably smell it.
•Zombies are predictable, Humans aren't, So keep a low profile.
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u/highfatoffaltube Jan 28 '23
Secure my house. Hide, live off canned food and water and then after a month cautiously go and have a look for some more supplies.
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u/Ok-Consideration6016 Jan 28 '23
Pretty much wing it. The media already let us know that none of us would be ready or equipped. Every zombie movie humans get slaughtered viciously. If by happenstance i make it past the official government announcement id just try to keep moving whilst collecting various useful objects lol
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u/dropbear108 Jan 28 '23
Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over.
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u/DavidinCT Jan 28 '23
Keep a very low profile, connect a quiet generator and still a gas truck, so the power does not go off for a very long time.
Sit back with tons of cold beer and play video games for years to come.
I would finally be able to catch up on my backlog.
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u/Qimmosabe_Man Jan 28 '23
Learn their ways.
Infiltrate their society.
Mate with their women.
Destroy them from within.
Profit.
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u/neuromorph Jan 28 '23
Depends on if they can swim or not. I have a high desert plan and an ocean faring plan.
If the outbreak is winter, I go to the desert. Spring or summer, I take to the water.
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u/AdmiralClover Jan 28 '23
Hunker down and wait it out. The Worlds military is not as incompetent as people think and if we're close to winter then the weather will freeze them solid
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u/MasteringTheFlames Jan 28 '23
A few years ago, I loaded a bunch of camping gear onto my bicycle and spent the better part of the next seven months riding 5,300 miles (8,500 km) around the western US. I figure in an apocalypse situation, gas stations will quickly fall into disrepair, rendering cars useless. So I'll just go back to my bike thing. Problem is, I live in Wisconsin. I wouldn't want to be here in the winter. So I would load my bike and camping gear onto my car and make haste towards the American southwest. Somewhere like San Diego, with a mild climate year-round. Not San Diego itself though. Too many zombies in a big city, not to mention other survivors with nefarious intent. A smaller town, just big enough to have a few grocery stores to loot, and a bike shop for spare parts. I'd keep the car as long as possible, and whenever it stops working, I'd ditch it in favor of the bike. Probably find an abandoned house to claim, see if I can start a garden before I completely clean out the grocery stores of nonperishables.
...or, mourning the loss of everyone I've ever known, I fall into a deep depression. Feeling like survival was more a curse than a blessing, I eventually kill myself. Yeah, probably that one.
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u/Marshal_Barnacles Jan 28 '23
Lock the doors and wait for 4-5 days until they all die of dehydration.
After that it's just a normal 'societal collapse' apocalypse.
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u/PhoenixGamer34 Jan 28 '23
Get whatever food I have that I could use, water, medical supplies, find something that I either have or is somewhere else in my house since I don't have a gun, along with some other essentials that may be necessary, but would not carry too much stuff, because that would bring me down and I would not have time for that. Head out, go to one of the military bases that's within a half an hour where I live, one is 26 minutes away and the other is 18 minutes away, that is of course if neither is zombie infested. The problem is, if one of them is, the other one probably will be as well. I should still be able to find a good place to hide even if they are zombie infested. Of course, even if I survive the first week, I have to be aware for more zombie waves, some of which will be worse, along with some crazy people, who may be either looking to steal my stuff, hurt me, or even kill me.
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u/Raztan Jan 28 '23
keep a low profile till most people are dead..
I fear the living.
If we get fast or smart zombies.. forget it.. we're all fucked period.