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u/ImpulseAfterthought 2d ago
"I'd like to thank the Academy, my director, my agent, all the cast and crew, and of course Slim and Chunk, without whom none of this would have been possible."
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u/-Leow 2d ago
Henchmen gets rid of 99.99% of insecurity issues!
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u/N-ShadowFrog 2d ago
Who do you think villains practice their monologues with.
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u/qdp 2d ago
Yeah, but then there's that 0.01% chance they may let the spy secret agent escape from their imprisonment when you walk away. Talk about security issues.
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u/code_turtle 2d ago
But if you’re a really competent villain, eventually there will be no heroes left to face. And you’ll have no purpose in life. Thus, you need to solve your “insecurity issues” by introducing security risks, like these henchmen.
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u/But_a_Jape
But a Jape
2d ago
•
Disclaimer: Slim and Chunk are not recommended for security purposes or combat situations. Henchmen For Hire is not liable for any damages incurred to the client due to bungling, buffoonery, and/or antics if used outside of recommended scenarios.
Anyway, if you like my comics, I've got more on my website.
I'm also on Patreon, Tapas, Webtoon, Twitter, and Instagram.
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u/KingSmizzy 2d ago
Good one, Boss!
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u/real-potatoman5 2d ago
Nyeah, Boss!
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u/Level69Warlock 2d ago
Which one is Slim and which one is Chunk?
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u/makemeking706 2d ago
You're going to be surprised when I tell you.
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u/Roscoe_King 2d ago
The names are actually based on their dicks
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u/grayrains79 2d ago
The names are actually based on their dicks
Pray tell, how did you discover this information?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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u/Deceptichum 2d ago
The Slim N’ Chunk fan base is small, but incredibly dedicated in their work on producing high quality Slim N’ Chunk R34.
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u/GobboBigBoss 2d ago
Taking a pretty wholesome thing and just fucking it upside down. Reddit never fails.
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u/JR_Manx 2d ago
Good one, Boss!
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u/Sorry-Advantage9156 2d ago
Nyeah, Boss!
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u/Romanator3000 2d ago
Nyeah, Boss!
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u/Not_a_war_criminal_ 2d ago
Boss, nyeah
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u/WeirdPumpkin 2d ago
Boss nya~~
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u/lesser_panjandrum 2d ago
Ah, I see the mistake here - you must be looking for Kawaii Henchcatgirls for Hire. They're next door.
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u/DerRaumdenker 2d ago
Can I hire them to hang out and talk about our interests and get to know each other very well?
Asking for friends...
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u/Largicharg 2d ago
I can’t count how many times I needed guys like this. Addressing elephants in the room, arguing with my friends, proposing better ways of doing things, calling out teachers on their BS.
Btw, do they come with Tommy guns?
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u/boilingpoint3 2d ago
I can hear their voices.
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u/HeroGothamKneads 2d ago
They were so distinct but now I've overthought and they're New York Mike and Sully.
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u/Jonas_Venture_Sr 2d ago
Hench4Life
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u/NR258Y 2d ago
If I need a henchman, I'm getting Gary
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u/jigokusabre 2d ago
And his buddy, incase you need a ride somewhere. You know, the one that sounds like Ray Romano?
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u/traceitalian 2d ago
"I want notes, lists and answers by the time I finish this here Juicy-a-Box! WARNING: I am Thirst-ay! And it is Fruit Punch! And it is Delicious!"
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u/lpjunior999 2d ago
Your standard Grade One henchman in service of the mighty Monarch is issued a dart gun and a grappling cannon, to name only a few of the exciting accoutrements that will aid the henchman in his wonderous world of career henching!
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u/AcediaRex 2d ago
Are they Guild of Calamitous Intent certified?
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u/Jonas_Venture_Sr 2d ago
They better be, if they are part of the Peril Partnership then they'll catch some lead.
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u/wolfgang784 2d ago
The fat one is Slim and the skinny one is Chunk, right?
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u/SlickBlackCadillac 2d ago
But of course. What would this literary masterpiece of a graphic novel be without some baked in irony?
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u/phrankygee 2d ago
That’s the order they are presented in, from left to right. I feel like that has to mean something…
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u/Gdigger13 2d ago
You can tell the one on the left has a more round tone in his voice, kinda like Patrick Star. And the one on the right has a nasally “waluigi” voice.
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u/meddlingbarista 2d ago
I call the big one Slim.
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u/EmperorSexy 2d ago
This guys built like an ox. He’s got oxen-like strength. Let’s call him Slim.
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u/salvoilmiosi 2d ago
Hired goons?
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u/EduardoBarreto 2d ago
While playing Rimworld I experienced a bug where in a quest I would be asked to send every single adult I had available to attack an enemy outpost, leaving all of the babies of the colony unattended.
I ended up hiring pirates to babysit them lol.
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u/Arcadian1 2d ago
"Motherless Brooklyn" is a book (and later a film) that basically has the premise of Slim being the main character of the story.
Every "evil henchmen" stereotype of the Great Depression had a big lug like Chunk and, to make it more memorable, a "crazy" character like Slim, who had a weird way of speaking and acted like there was something "off" about him.
In the film, Slim has Tourette's, and just assumes he's a freak, but the guy in charge realizes he's smart, and that his disability isn't his most important characteristic.
I'm not joking.
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u/Dappershield 2d ago
I often go through my day saying "Nyeah, 'cause I'm the boss, see?" In a stereotype cartoon Mafia voice. No idea where I pulled it from, but it brightens my shift.
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u/Sea_Drop_7935 2d ago
Hey are you the henchmen for hire?
( hadns you cash)
heres 60 bucks make sure my girlfriend feels safe happy and non dsyphoric today.
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u/Reddilutionary 2d ago
This is cute and fun as fuck. Usually the endless sea of comics on reddit is just white noise to me, but this is so good.
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u/CarlosFer2201 2d ago
This art style is really familiar. Is this the same comic of the aliens who have pet humans? I love those.
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u/Hobbes604 1d ago
My apartment doesn’t allow goons, but maybe they’ll let me have these emotional support goons.
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u/SwirlingAether 2d ago
Someone’s been watching Boy meets World
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u/FENDERHEAD1946 2d ago
Do you happen to remember what the episode was about ? I’m asking so I can try to find clips of it 😅
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u/SwirlingAether 2d ago
Season two and season three both have instances of lackeys that follow Harley Kiner, and have the same body build as these two
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u/TheWaffleWeirdo 2d ago
Plot twist: The man running the business meeting and the woman shopping are married and the girl is their child
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u/trowaybrhu3 2d ago
Loiter squad did it good with them hypeman, especially the one aiding earl in the office
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u/BlueHighwindz 2d ago
I thought they guys were only good for mildly inconveniencing Batman, but wow, they're actually great dudes.
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u/RandomLogicThough 2d ago
I feel like in this age of fame chasing fake bodyguards could make some ok money.../I met a dude who's son or inlaw bodyguarded Beyonce or JayZ or someone big and the dude made killer money (think he was like a 6'5" former Mossad guy? I forget)
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u/KingFahad360 2d ago
I want to hire Slim N Chunk to take care of Fat Michael.
I want him to lose weight and get his body to his old shape and size.
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u/that_guys_posse 2d ago
When I originally made my account I intended to do something like that. I planned to find people who were arguing about something and comment support--like their posse. So I went in and said stuff like, "you tell em boss!".
I can say that it only seemed to confuse and anger people without an explanation (which I refused to provide...I commit to my bits).
Tried it a few times with the same response so this just became my regular account.
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u/cultured_banana_slug 2d ago
Next up: They get a job in hospitality, get told to "take care" of the customers, and there's some important word definition follow-up after the murder noises stop.
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u/blackjackgabbiani 2d ago
I feel like this is what the Team Rocket trio could do after the show ends
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